I choose to move this story.....

 

here

OK, so I'm bouncing round random blogs.... and I'm in tears, they're streaming down my face because I'm a sick twisted perverted woman... and this his just classic

 

 

 

Go there, be prepared to laugh, cry.... just do it

I only found this story out because someone rang work looking for lost property.

 

Then proceeded to go burko at me for not ringing him to say 'hey you twat you left your unnatractive jacket in the room you vacated an hour ago."

 

I asked the porter to look for said jacket.... to no avail.

 

Duty manager asked if I was worried about it... to which I replied 'hell no, but I'd much rather someone rang in to collect the vibrator that got left behind in November.... I've been waiting for MONTHS for that thing to be collected" (even tho 90% of crud left behind is left behind).

 

Then 'K' the duty manager dropped a great story..... which goes like this...

 

Some cheapskate guy wanted to impress his girlfriend,  (this takes place before my time, in the time of crap front desk peoples, but never mind that) and he wanted to put food and stuff up in the room... so they let him.... but he didn't come back/register as expected.   Hotel was busy, his room was sold on.... the people who took it rang down to ask 'wtf is food doing up here'   like good (disorganised wanker type) people apparently the food was whipped outta the room.

 

Mr Impressive rocks up some time later... checks into (another) room.... comes down to reception with most quizzical confused face.... "where's the food"  

"Well sir you didn't register by 6pm so your room was sold and the food is out the back in the kitchen... would you like it brought up to this room"

Mr Impressive: (blushing)   "Well no, that's not the big deal... the worry is more... who's in that room... coz I brought a gift for my girlfriend and it's still up there...... it's a vibrator."

oh dear....

We've sold the room... to a family of 3... and there's a new vibe snuggled between the mattress and the base.... don't know about you but that's PLATINUM stuff (too good to be gold).

 

Poor K has to find a reason to get into this room... feel around under the bed... and sneak out a (new and yes packaged still) vibrator.... without the guests knowing wtf is going on...

 

She stumbles upstairs, red faced and carrying towels on the pretence they needed fresh ones....

And dammit was rewarded with a room with no guests (the buggers had gone out)

 

but ohhhhhhhhh what a rush.

 

Gotta love hotels!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have to put the question out there.... is underwear intentionally made to do evil things?   Do they go to make it straight and think.... hmmmm if i just put in a 5% twist will that drive someone fair round the bend... or should I go with 10%.   Saying this of course coz I had the 'left right up' pair on at work last night.   Theoretcially there's nothing wrong with them... til they find a new home and head up... but only on the left hand side.... and always the left.... what the hell is going on out there?

 

Are bra's not already a crap invention.  I'm well aware they can do impressive work cantilevering, lifting, unseparating... and those lovely moments of wire snapping, wire poking out to jab you in the armpit or horror of horrors just wandering out the cleavage while you're at work and you don't even notice.....

 

Commando commando commando is all i have to say today!

Anyone who has piccies from previous nights of debauchery, sin or even silliness plz send them to my assorted emails.... my laptop coma appears to be unrecoverable....

I give in.  doppelgangers do exist.

 

Checking this couple in at work the other night..... and (apart from my definite suspicion they somehow weren't meant to be together and were actually sneaking around having illicit sex with each other) I swear to god they were Melly & IR.   Posture, facial expressions, hair styles, fashion.... the lot.

 

It was very very disturbing.

 

To confirm my suspicions I got a call from a woman with that nasal twang of someone who's been crying for hours and hours asking if "Ingrid Khan" is checked into my hotel.... she's not.... but Mel's doppelganger signed the registration card and all I can make out on it is the 'K'.....

 

You know I'm right!